Expanding the Vison

I always knew that the way I was raised had set me up for failure. Well, that's not completely true. I found out my first year in college. I have known since then. I am the youngest of 10 children and the way I see it, my parents were kind of "done" when my time came to prepare to launch. It was mostly my father who handled these kinds of things. Teaching me about money, what I could and mostly what I couldn't afford. How to get into a good college, meaning, just let him do it and I'll have a better chance. Don't worry about jury duty, I know how to get you out of it. You need a physical? Go get me the phone book and I'll find a doctors name to forge. My dad had it all figured out. Too bad for me, it was my life that was about to begin, not his. My first semester in college was a total failure and it took me several years to recover. This week in the class readings I read about the three different students. One had something against someone and could us

I want to remember something that I learned this week about mastery. After reading most of the book I asked some friends advice on something that I would love to master. I asked them if anything they had ever heard about how to eat healthy and avoid over eating had ever stuck with them and sank in in a way that helped them to make a change. I have always struggled with this in my life and although I also work out hard and run a lot in order to keep things in a relative balance, I am starting to realize that the thought process I go through is the same as any harmful addiction. I am realizing that if I can master this one area of my life, so many other areas of my life will benefit. I listened to their advice but realized that this was something that neither of them had given serious thought to in terms of how to proactively evolve their own minds. If something had sank in with them, in the way that I was describing, they would be at least on their way to mastery. The answer, in part,

"You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself." This was a quote by Leonardo di Vince. I just need to let that sink in for awhile and think about where I am with myself. It is so rare that we look within when we are trying to change our lives. It is so rare to believe that the small things you do or don't do each day actually effect more people than just you. It is not common to know that we wear our feelings on our faces and if we don't believe in ourselves, others will not believe in us. How then do we create this belief in ourselves? It is through mastery of self. This is how we create confidence. By doing things that we say we are going to do, consistently, we begin to trust ourselves. By doing things that are difficult but persisting, we start to find our own strength. By not doing things that will effect us negatively, even though we want to, we are learning how to love ourselves. All of these things will become who we are and our ef

I have been thinking a lot this week about how to be a hero to my future family and to myself. I realize that I am laying the foundation for the career I will build. Even my current study habits and my dedication to organization and time management are currently affecting my family. When I don't use my time wisely, I feel stressed and when I feel stressed, I complain. It takes discipline to want to focus on these things for the sake of being a better wife and not just a better student. I have been praying a lot lately for patience. Right now I am a nanny and with full-time school, I don't always deal with the distractions of the kids I watch with grace. I have this valuable experience to see into the future, myself as a mother. Who am I going to be and what is going to be the most important. One thing I have realized is that you won't become someone you will be proud of by accident. Like entropy, if left to chance, habits will begin to undo you and time will pull you th

1. If you pursue your calling with discipline, intentionality, and the help of fellow travelers, what are the chances that your worst case scenario will really happen? -I am learning that I have a difficult time seeing past the fears. It is in looking at the true consequences of the fears that I realize there is not so much to fear as it is worth giving up. If I use my discipline, intention and help of others I believe in the very least I will have an experience that I can be proud of. There is no worst case scenario that involves learning something and growing. 2. As you look at your list of fears, what themes emerge? What is at the core of what you really fear? Financial ruin? The judgment or disapproval of others? Physical harm? Endangering the ones you love? Embarrassment? -It seems that the core of my fears is my believe in my abilities and resourcefulness. I feel like I am going to come to some challenge that I will have no idea how to handle or will realize I had no right