I want to try again
After last week, we read about the three kinds of students- those who have a bone to pick with someone from their past that can use that as a driving force for success, those who experienced significant hardship and are therefore not affected harshly by set backs or failures along the way to success, and lastly those that had things easy and sheltered and enter the real world flinching at difficulty and totally embarrassed by failure. This last type of student also happened to be the type that was 100% of the time, unreachable, or so the readings said. This last type of student also happened to be me.
I have thought about this and how it has manifested in my endeavors. It is true. I was at the time that I went off to college, unreachable and unwilling to suffer for any success. Why? It had always come easy to me, my parents had always done the harder things for me, and I even had help getting out of situations because of special privileges afforded to one whose parent works at the school and whose other parent is willing to cut corners and show you how.
I am now, a decade later, a different student. Thankfully, I have passed through hard ship and could, if I really wanted to, pass myself off as the student who has identified a bone to pick. Instead, I want to recognize the debilitation fear has placed upon me because I was tricked into feeling that life was something you could fake.
I want to try again. There is a certain opportunity that I wish I would have taken more seriously and gotten up more times after having fallen down. I have wished that I could have spent less time licking my wounds and more time trying again to be successful in this area. I don't know how to overcome fear and embarrassment but I bet it has something to do with new action, enlightened perspective, and a healthy hunger for the game regardless of the outcome. I want to be willing to play and to lose and to be rejected without attaching my personal worth to it. I want to go after goals and to be willing to fall short, to reassess and to try again. This is all a new part of overcoming my past and taking hold of my future.
I have thought about this and how it has manifested in my endeavors. It is true. I was at the time that I went off to college, unreachable and unwilling to suffer for any success. Why? It had always come easy to me, my parents had always done the harder things for me, and I even had help getting out of situations because of special privileges afforded to one whose parent works at the school and whose other parent is willing to cut corners and show you how.
I am now, a decade later, a different student. Thankfully, I have passed through hard ship and could, if I really wanted to, pass myself off as the student who has identified a bone to pick. Instead, I want to recognize the debilitation fear has placed upon me because I was tricked into feeling that life was something you could fake.
I want to try again. There is a certain opportunity that I wish I would have taken more seriously and gotten up more times after having fallen down. I have wished that I could have spent less time licking my wounds and more time trying again to be successful in this area. I don't know how to overcome fear and embarrassment but I bet it has something to do with new action, enlightened perspective, and a healthy hunger for the game regardless of the outcome. I want to be willing to play and to lose and to be rejected without attaching my personal worth to it. I want to go after goals and to be willing to fall short, to reassess and to try again. This is all a new part of overcoming my past and taking hold of my future.
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