Here I am

How did I end up in this major? Business management. How curious. I have faced the decision of declaring a major since high school. I was no closer to finding an answer when a moment later I decided to decide.

In the future, when my weaknesses rear their ugly faces, I won't decide again. I have learned that important decisions have to be made when we are feeling strong or at least well. I actually learned this while running. Many of the insights I gain that make me feel more equip to adult come to me while running. On this run, I was planning to include a huge hill in my run and the total mileage would be 10. The hill would come at mile two and last about a half mile. I was getting into the thick of things with this hill and I decided I probably didn't want to run 10 miles after all. I should just get to the top  of the hill and turn around (so as not to have to come back up the other side of course), then I could take a long way home (which I wasn't seriously planning on) and run about 5 or 6.

Well, there is a fighter in me. There is an entrepreneur in me. I am not someone that is meant to live a mediocre life. People who live mediocre lives make habits of lying to themselves and starting days with failure.

I convinced myself, that week little self within, that it had no right to decide to quit while running up a hill. Everyone wants to quit while running up a hill but the SELF that decides to run a 10 mile course with hills does NOT want to quit. My SELF will do it. And I did. Not only did I, but that course became my bread and butter. I got to the point where I was running it in 1 hour and 20 mins. That's just over an 8 min mile, which just so happens to be the pace someone under 35 would need to run for 26.2 miles in order to qualify for the Boston Marathon. And I did that too.

The purpose of this is to remind myself that I, who I refer to as my SELF, knows that this is the right decision. It has been confirmed to me through the Holy Spirit of Promise. I know, and when it gets tough as it always does, I am not going to allow myself to decide again. I won't hear any lies about how this isn't really something I am cut out for. I am going to finish and keep going. I am going to work hard enough to surprise myself. Here I am.

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